Saturday, April 26, 2014

Why Limit?

Why limit yourself to one genre of music, fiction, art, food, and so on and on?
Better to change, grow, evolve, party, and make amazing things happen.
Better to live with one foot in the now and another in the future.
Guide yourself through the past to learn lessons for the future.

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Yours in advertising revenue,
Count Robot 

Friday, April 11, 2014

Corman is Roger

Al Goreman is full of Corman
So there’s this Bee that’s going to be in the movie. We’re going to call it Curse of the She Bee. The Bee changes into a beautiful woman and stings men to death because this scientist was experimenting on a queen bee with an atomic ray.
Moments like this call for brain surgery in the round
I slid down in the car seat next to him. Hey man if it’s a female bee isn’t it a queen bee? I thought the only female in the hive was the queen. So shouldn’t the movie title be Curse of the Queen Bee.
Yes technically yes but it’s not as catchy as She Bee. Women like it when we put she in the title of the picture so do boys. Remember that movie we put out last summer, She Monster? That movie was garbage and we made a bundle on it. A couple of weeks later we put out She Ghost and that was big too. So we’ve got to keep that title.
Ok, ok how about this, the bee that gets blasted is a male bee but it turns into a she. So we get that whole strange gender thing going on in addition to the horror stuff.
Great idea. Write the script. You have five days. By the way here’s the poster. It’s great isn’t it?

Yours in retro movie magic,
Count Robot

Friday, April 4, 2014

Starlight Drive In Movie Theater

Sure I worked at the Starlight Drive In. I worked there most of my life and I got more tail than you would believe. Those were the days of great cheap fun movies. We ran stuff like Attack of the Prehistoric Beast, Vampire Hookers from Outer Space, and we were one of the only theaters that played the Burning Witch. I hear all the prints of that flick disappeared. These days they don’t make them like the ones we used to show, fun, dumb, cheap, short films.
Yeah I heard all the crazy stories people used to say about the Starlight. Some weirdoes say the place was never really open. All I have to say about that is I have the pay stubs to prove it was real.
There were a few nuts that complained to us that they heard strange voices on the loudspeakers. It really did happen sometimes though. There were some jerks that used radio gear to cut into our signals and say weird stuff like they could predict the future or that you shouldn’t eat stuff from the snack bar. Crazy jerks.
I’ll tell you one thing for sure about the place, it really was haunted. I saw some of the ghosts myself. There was one of this really hot chick. There was another one of this little kid who died in the middle of the concession stand. No one knows why he died he just did. Back in those days stuff like that happened and people didn’t sue.
And don’t let any idiots tell you the place is still open. I don’t know where people get such stupid ideas. The Starlight is closed. Has been for years. It was a great place but it just ain’t the type of place that could be around now you know? I mean no one makes the type of flicks that we used to show and all the normal movies you can go see at the mall so why would anyone go to a drive in? Pretty sad but that’s the way it is.
Vincent “Vin” Breen
Former projectionist for the Starlight Drive In Movie Theater