Wednesday, March 26, 2014


As you might well be aware for some time now Count Robot has been scribing some of the words for Georgia, space metal prog rockers, Spaceseed.
Well in a bit of news, their new cd comes out soon with some of Count Robot’s ramblings on the disc.
I’m sure you expected that…

However what you didn’t expect is that we are already planning another Spaceseed release and this one will be more epic…
Writing and rambling away like mad.

A few of you may ask, hey how did you get on board that there Spaceseed ship Count Robot?
Well it happened like this…
Back in the days of anti-social media John Pack AKA JP High Overlord of Spaceseed and Commander of the Quill Back Momboloids and Count Robot got communicating online since they were going to be playing a festival together. The chattering ran into arranging a gig in Boston for Spaceseed. Then the chattering turned into meeting and more jibber jabber then JP asked Count Robot to contribute some words and that there is history.

So get on board the Spaceseed ship! All humans, and Non humanoids are welcome!

Yours in Spaceseed delight,
Count Robot

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Pirate Tales


Like a little pirate booty aye?
Well there friends, folks, and salty dogs check out Captain David’s Haunted Pirate Show.
Its full of ghastly spooky songs and tales.
A couple of the stories were woven by our own Count Robot so dig it like a grave.

Here’s a ghastly and brief interview between Count Robot and a ghost.
Ghost: When you work on these tales for Captain David are you interested in historical accuracy?
Count Robot: I know that the tales Captain David has written himself are very historically precise, however since so far I’ve only written for the Haunted show I decided to jettison reality and make up as much as I wanted. Fictional tales most often function best in a fictional world.
Ghost: Are you happy with the way Captain David tells the stories at his shows?
Count Robot: Very much so. Captain Fork Tongue really brings the stories to life and gives them a vibrancy that’s not on the page. When I wrote those stories I made sure to listen to Captain David’s voice in my head. If I couldn’t hear the line in his voice then I edited that line out.
Ghost: Will you be writing more stories for Captain David?
Count Robot: I would be happy to do so.

Here’s a clip of Captain David Fork Tongue’s Haunted Pirate Show

Yours in haunted sea shanties,
Count Robot

Thursday, March 13, 2014

I Bleeding to Death

I Bleeding to Death


Blue magic marker


This is where they were dying died dead

We’ve raised a garden of therapy stones

Did it make you feel so big

Did it make them all seem so small that they didn’t matter and you could do whatever you wanted because you had them right where you wanted them

How many times did I see this nightmare on TV

How many times did I listen to some other idiot pretend to understand and conceptualize this thing which burned through us like a hole where there’s a bullet still lodged

Someone wrote that, “I bleeding to death” in blue magic marker on a window

They weren’t talking to me or you they were dying

Many of the families of Columbine feel like its forgotten already

That’s easy for us to do, there’s no one to avenge ourselves on except ourselves so let’s move on

The monuments and the memorials are built so let’s move on to a window with blue magic marker

I bleeding to death
One victim wrote that
and died

yours in sadness,
Count Robot

Friday, March 7, 2014

Stephen Colbert is a pansy

You heard me right wimpburger, I am call you out! How dare you duck Rio Santos and his challenge to you?
I know there you are and your show with your intern slaves and Jimmy minions doing your bidding and you have your millions of fans but all the while you live in fear of the mighty power and powerful odors of the great and greatest masked super hero wrestler of all time, Rio Santos!
If you think you’re a man, and not an intern hording twonk bucket, you will face the power of Rio Santos on your show!
Rio Santos knows you are a bear in the form of a man and here is the video to prove it Stephen Coalbear!